2 way cool jokes:


Why you never question a drunk----

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of romaine lettuce,
A 2 lb. can of coffee,
And a 1 lb. package of bacon.

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.”

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelicts intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?”

The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

Three vampires walk into a cafe.

The waitress comes over and asks what they would like, and the first answers “Id like a large blood”.

She acknowledges and turns to the second, who says he will have the
same. She nods and turns to the third who says he just wants a mug and a pot of boiling water. Confused, she nods and heads back to prepare their orders.

The first two vampires look at the third with questioning eyes and say
“Why are you just getting a pot of water?”

The third vapire pulls out a bloody tampon and says “For tea, of

Got those email to me :smiley:


wheres the third :dunno

edit: n/m you changed the title :kneeljoe


That first one was so honest it was totally funny!