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[quote=“AbriannaPeto, post: 709305”]The First Edition Of The Weekly Byline!
[CENTER][CENTER]The weekly byline presents FreeWorkVest[/CENTER]
This weeks article features FreeWorkVest. Also known as FWV, unknown to most people including FWV, FWV does no enjoy being called FWV. Currently, FWV resides some place between the moon and New York City, therefore setting up the interview for this weeks segment was fairly difficult, we ended up holding it in the Random PW thread, were people would not leave during the duration of the interview and we were often interrupted.
FWV’s child-hood was full of terrible tragedies as well as a stupid mother, who sha’ll remain nameless, the mother tried to teach him to swim by throwing him into a freeway, sadly he survived; a surprise to his mother. During his adolescent years FWV tried to commit murder; stabbing his mother 62 times, beheading her, and then grinding the rest of her up in a chili that he served at the church pot luck, unknown to him, she survived. Also, in his child hood and recent adult life, he has been molested by trees. Turning him into a peculiar and unstable man. FWV does not enjoy talking of his family. He does have a daughter, we know that she is a dirty, stinking ape, and is not to be trusted with passwords or username idees.
The rumors of FWV eating puppies are true. He was unsure of the amount of these precious, rare breed, and new born puppies he ate, and at the time he was also, unaware that he was eating them. He says that he would of declined the offer of eating the puppy meat, if he had known at the time that they were puppies, though he did state that they were rather delicious.
We also have reason to believe that FWV was in fact not only not against the loli pop brigade but, also more then likely planning with them. This brings fears back into the homes of families with small children that the loli pops will raise to full power once again, with FWV as their leader. When we questioned FWV of this, he refused to answer and claimed that there was carbon monoxide leak making our interviewer “Incoherent.”
FWV is an untrustworthy man. Do not leave him in a room alone with small, fuzzy, or otherwise cute things. This concludes our weekly byline. Thank you and see you next week.
By: Abrianna Peto