Ever. I’m serious. First… this is going to be long. Just read it. You might enjoy having a look into my epiphany on this, the eve of our Independence Day.
You all recall my post about my finances finally being lowered to a reasonable level so that I can actually live my life and have a good time not worrying about whether or not I’m going to be able to cover my bills, right?
Well, that still doesn’t change the fact that my last check from Ingram was only 455 dollars. I took that to the bank and kept 10 bucks for myself.
rent= 335; due on the 28th, and I still forgot to take it over there.
cable= 100; due in 7 days.
How much does that leave me with? 11.68 in my checking account. Now… I’m starting my new job on Tuesday, it’s a job where I drive around all day to different businesses meaning I’m on the road, meaning I need to eat out. How many days do you think 11 bucks will last? 2… tops. Period.
Well, I thought I was screwed big time. I don’t like borrowing money from my parents, I’ve done it twice and paid them back without problem. I tried to think of anything I could to get out of doing that. But, I am out of options.
Tonight I had to bite the bullet again.
We were sitting out in my parents backyard by the fish pond and my dad leaned over, put his hand on my knee and told me he was proud of me. Never knowing what to say to that, I just said “can i borrow some money?” I felt sick. I felt horrible. To my surprise, without a flinch or stutter in his voice he asked how much. So I thought for a second and said I need 75 dollars. He instantly got up and went inside to write me a check. He comes back out and hands it to me and I stuck it in my pocket saying thank you probably 20 times.
At about 10 everyone was ready to go so we all headed out. I got home and was standing outside having a cigarette, so I pulled out the check and looked at it. He wrote me one for 100 bucks. I swear my jaw hit the ground, I never expected that. I was simply amazed, hell… i’m sitting here tearing up as I’m writing this. I know why though, I don’t know how I never knew this before… but this just shows the undying love my parents have for me that they would go that extra mile to make sure I’m comfortable and living well. Without question, without word of repayment. Just words of inexplicable love.
It made me feel stupid and sorry for ever holding a grudge over that stupid fight we had 3 years ago or for any fight we’ve ever had where I’ve felt alone and lashed out at them for any stupid reason.
This has brought new meaning to me. I’m am done with holding any grudges against anyone. You never know when you’re going to have to depend on someone, or they’re going to have to depend on you. Friendship and family are far more important than anything in the world.
I’m going to go play golf with my dad tomorrow since he needed an extra person since my mom felt she needed to do other things. And I’ll be absolutely DAMNED if I don’t have the best time with my dad tomorrow.
This means everything to me. I haven’t cried like I am right now for a very long time.