FUCK I hate cockroaches!
I just went in to check on Soleil before I went to bed and the hugest massivest cockroach EVER is just sitting on her bed. Insert panic here
So I’m standing there, frozen, wondering what the hell I do! There’s an umbrella but if I start wildly bashing her bed whilst screaming like a maniacal banshee as I would ordinarily do, I am liable to a) wake Soleil up and b) hit Soleil too. I swear on my life the fucker was taunting me too. He was looking right at me, little tentacles just swinging. I eventually picked up Soleil’s slippers and scooped him into one and then bashed the life out of him in the next room, all the while holding in the urge to scream obscenities at high volume.
Logically I know it’s only a tiny bug that doesn’t even bite, but holy hell those things scare the bejeezus out of me!!! And now I also have to buy Soleil new slippers. Not to mention, I need to call an exterminator because our flat is anal retentively clean, so there is no reason a cockroach should even be in here. Nasty little buggers.
I hate cockroaches!!! My heart is still racing. I’ll never sleep now.