How do you reachout

I’ve tried to type what I was thinking for this post, but each time I keep coming up with a whole lot of backstory or tmi details that really don’t need to go here.

Suffice it to say this question has been bugging me for a few weeks, when you need to talk to someone… how do you reach out to them without feeling like your a burden? Or if your a friend or family to that person how can you tell that someone needs to talk… who may be feeling like that and isnt reaching out?

I like to think the few people I love know that anything they tell me is not a burden, I try to let them know that.

As for me…if I need to talk, I find it hard to admit I need to. I was down last week, and my best friend told me to call them, but even then I didn’t want to burden them. So I said no, it’s okay. Then about a minute later I said “please can I call”…they said “yes”, and they made me so much better so quickly.

It’s hard to ask for help

Yes it is…

Basically, I just tell them I need to talk. I’m not good at hiding things, and if something is on my mind, I find it easier to just talk about it, because I’m pretty obvious about it. As far as being a burden I’m always there for my friends, and I know they are for me too.

As far as knowing when someone needs to talk to me, I just feel that when they are ready, they will. If I see signs, I’ll ask them, but usually people won’t unless they’re ready.

[quote=“Tyler Durden, post: 1099967”]I like to think the few people I love know that anything they tell me is not a burden, I try to let them know that.
[/QUOTE]

I used to think that as well, but unfortunately, on both sides of the spectrum I know this isn’t true around me. I mean I can rationalize that people around me have said… “call me whenever…” but I still cant bring myself to call never could figure out why even though the emotional spiral was debilitating.

I have the same trouble as you. I’m very reserved, to myself. This forum is the only place where I actually ask for help, because nobody knows my identity(aside from the picture). I also find writing in a journal very helpful, because when you read what you wrote, it is kind of like reading somebody else’s problem.

I think from my point of view I’m quite solitary, even my own brother has told me before he feels he can’t reach out to me at times because I’m not an open book to him. It’s possibly true

I can understand how you feel reaching out to someone to talk to may be a burden, i was like that myself when i was younger, i had to solve my own problems and if i couldnt i would push them away and not worry about them until they resurfaced most times within anger and me hurting someone i was close to.

Deal is asking for help does not make you a burden. Asking for help with something you are unsure of is if anything a compliment to the person you are asking, belive me it will all make more sense once you actually get past the fear of being a burden and ask. :slight_smile:

My answer to your questions is very simple. If they are your true friends, regardless of how much you may feel like a burden, they will be honest with you. They will tell you if they can or can’t handle the topic of discussion.

As for trying to get that person/people to talk, all you need to do is make yourself available. Again be honest, if it’s something you notice just let them know that you notice this or that and if they feel like talking that you are willing to listen. No pressure, just straight honesty.

[edit]

and just as a side note…I’m sure that if you have a problem and you don’t know anybody around you that you can talk to about it, the people here at OTz are more then willing to hear your problems and help in what ways we can.