How to shower


#1

How to Shower Like a Woman

  1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to
    lights and darks.
  2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the
    way, cover up any exposed areas.
  3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more
    sit-ups
  4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,
    wide loofah, and pumice stone
  5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
    vitamins.
  6. Wash your hair again to make sure it’s clean.
  7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with
    natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
  8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until
    red.
  9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
  10. Rinse conditioner off hair.
  11. Shave armpits and legs.
  12. Turn off shower.
  13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
  14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair
    in super absorbent towel.
  15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
  16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
  17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man

  1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a
    pile.
  2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener
    at her making the ‘woo-woo’ sound.
  3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener
    and scratch your butt.
  4. Get in the shower.
  5. Wash your face
  6. Wash your armpits.
  7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
  8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in
    the shower.
  9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
  10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
  11. Shampoo your hair.
  12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
  13. Pee.
  14. Rinse off and get out of shower.
  15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
    hanging out of tub the whole time.
  16. Admire wiener size in mirror again.
  17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
  18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull
    off towel, shake wiener at her and make the ‘woo-woo’ sound again.
  19. Throw wet towel on bed.

#2

lmao. thats awesome. :lol


#3

LMAO!!! Except you forgot one thing. Somewhere around #9 should be “if you poop in the shower, stomp it down the drain” :think…
…actually I stole that just incase the member who said that is here. This was posted at M/F once and a guy said that’s what he does and I was grossed out and laughed so hard I teared up. :laughing


#4

lmmfao :lol :lol :lol , ok now booze please tell us you dont do that…


#5

:funnah :rofl


#6

:wtf


#7

thats funnah :lol


#8

REPOST!!!

http://www.offtopicz.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=467&start=25


#9

hahaha, that’s funny.

Too bad I don’t do all those things though-- I walk to the shower sans clothes and definitely throw the towel on the bed, to name a few.

Ah, can’t be a perfect gal I suppose.


#10

OH NO WAY MAN. The womens list is soooo incomplete. It doesn’t mention shaving the puss’. If they expect me to go on an expedition through thick brush to find a bearded cooter on the other end they can kiss my assocks. It has to be shaved fo sho. None of that wolly mammoth stuff flies anymore. :barf It’s not the 80’s anymore. Shave the shit, it’s sexah. If your are sick and won’t be having sex with your man for a while, then I guess you can let it grow and it will keep him away. It sure as hell repels me. :barf Just my opinion. Shave the kitty Shave the kitty Shave the kitty


#11

:funnah thats great, all my girlfriends ive had cant stand teh puss hair. yes, fuck lip burn. i guess pregnant girls have an excuse when they cant even see their feet, but thats when i come in. i specialize in shavin the bush. :banana sometimes a lil hair is sexy but it has to be above the vag.


#12

You said a little. Theres a diffrence between a landing strip and a yeti.


#13

:lol hahaha thats hilarious, yes a little is good sometimes


#14

http://www.offtopicz.com/forums/album_pic.php?pic_id=104


#15

I agree Rock that is me im the messy one i drop my draws were ever and when im through bathing ( cause i dont have a shower ) then i pick up the stuff and throw it in the little clothes basket i have in the closet :dunno :dunno


#16

I laugh everytime I read that one!


#17

[quote=“StangMang”]How To Shower Like a Man
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener
at her making the ‘woo-woo’ sound.
18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull
off towel, shake wiener at her and make the ‘woo-woo’ sound again.
quote]

:funnah :funnah :funnah :funnah

i’ve done this before, and i can’t stop laughing right now :rofl :rofl


#18

Re: RE: How to shower…

:o


#19

that poster is sweet! not a fan of the saying tho.