I am Women, hear me speak


#1

Alright guys, here is the secret code for what we women really mean when we say these things:

FINE

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES

If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING

This is the calm before the storm. This means “something,” and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with ‘Nothing’ usually end in “Fine”

GO AHEAD

This is a dare, not permission. Don’t do it.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”

THAT’S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you’re welcome.

They forgot “Whatever”…(it’s a woman’s way of saying *!#@ YOU!)


#2

Those are the three most horrible things ever. Fine is never Fine and nothing is never nothing. Wow thats alot of double negatives.

And the sigh… ugh!!! :blah


#3

in short: women have issues, so ignore them and theyll stop making sounds :smiley:

j/k, but seriuoulsy - some women (not a stereotype necessarily, but a significant amount) need to get off the “im a woman” high horse and stop playing these games. noone appreciates it :dunno


#4

My conversations wits MrsBehavin:

Bossman: Whats the matter with you?

MrsBehavin: Nothing!

Bossman: Aight, Im not gonna ask again

MrsBehavin: Fine!

Bossman: Okay, Im going to my buddies house

MrsBehavin: Go Ahead!

Bossman: Okay, Im leaving. I’ll be back later. [reaching for kiss]I love you.[/reaching for kiss]

MrsBehavin: Loud sigh! Whatever!!!


#5

Poor, poor man. I feel for you.


#6

Re: RE: I am Women, hear me speak

[quote=artisan00]in short: women have issues, so ignore them and theyll stop making sounds :smiley:

j/k, but seriuoulsy - some women (not a stereotype necessarily, but a significant amount) need to get off the “im a woman” high horse and stop playing these games. noone appreciates it :dunno[/quote]

NO! if they quit playing games then my 16 yrs of figuring them out will all be for nothing! lol


#7

Re: RE: I am Women, hear me speak

[quote=AtlanticBlue99]

NO! if they quit playing games then my 16 yrs of figuring them out will all be for nothing! lol[/quote]

you honestly think youve made progress? hehe. the problem is that when you think you figure one out, you meet a new one who is completely different. so whats the point??


#8

yea ive noticed that too. it is especially bad to meet new chicks during that time of the month.

but i have learned this. girls like the “bad boy image” during that time of the month so you just need to time things and you are in like ron jeremy :hump


#9

HAHA!! That is funny. I totally say FINE, Nothing, and go ahead… lol. Actually I dont say go ahead much. I typically mean that he can go whereever he wants to… I just want him to spend my off days with me. :slight_smile: Not bad considering i ONLY have about 6 off days a month…typically.


#10

Re: RE: I am Women, hear me speak

[quote=AtlanticBlue99]yea ive noticed that too. it is especially bad to meet new chicks during that time of the month.

but i have learned this. girls like the “bad boy image” during that time of the month so you just need to time things and you are in like ron jeremy :hump[/quote]

i dunno, i think that also depends on the girl.


#11

STFU woman :smiley:


#12

:hump on the rag :dunno sometimes when I got to have it


#13

I dont :hump when aunt flows in town


#14

Sometimes I got to


#15

Re: RE: I am Women, hear me speak

Find one that aint ragin you said there easy down there :dunno


#16

My philosphy on Women.
You can let a women bend you a little but never let them break you.
I’ve never not had a relationship with a women where she didn’t want me to change in some way or form to suit her. Granted we don’t always know every thing about someone until after you have been with them for a while. So, if your girl asked you to close the toilet seat after your done peeing, or stop farting in bed and holding her head under the covers then thats something you might want to consider doing for her… as a courtesy.
But if she tells you that your friends are immature and she dosen’t like to hang out with them, then you might have to draw the line. Or for the married guys, when your wife tells you the hotrod in the backyard is starting to sprout weeds on it and it’s got to go then you gotta hold on hard to your principles and tell her no way. :rock


#17

Yep my ex wanted me to stop hanging out with my friedns becasue they are “jackasses”

Hell she dosent know them so i said no and now shes my ex casue she didnt like my friends hah


#18

I was living with my girl in Cali .awhile back. I was really into surfing alot then. One morning she complained to me as I was leaving for a dawn patrol that I was neglecting her and that surfing meant more to me than she did and she was fed up with it and she was moving out. I told her as I was headed out the door that I was going to miss her. :rock


#19

I am Women, hear me speak

We’re listening, we just can’t understand what the fuck you really mean.


#20

Its all explained in full detail up top.