>irish boy in confession


#1

IRISH BOY IN CONFESSION

Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with
a loose woman.

The priest asks, "Is that you, little Timmy
Shaughnessy?

Yes, Father, it is.

And, who was the woman you were with?

I can’t be tellin’ you, Father. I don’t want to ruin
her reputation.

Well, Timmy, I’m sure to find out sooner or later, so
you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda O’Malley?

I cannot say.

Was it Patricia Kelly?

I’ll never tell.

Was it Sheilah O’Brien?

I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.

Was it Kathleen Morgan?

My lips are sealed.

Was it Fiona Grogan, then?

Please, Father, I cannot tell you.

The priest sighs in frustration. You’re a steadfast
lad, Timmy Shaughnessy, and I admire that. But
you’ve sinned, and you must atone. You cannot attend
church mass for three months. Be off with you now.

Timmy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean slides
over and whispers, What’d you get?

Three month’s vacation and five good leads.


#2

thats some good shit… :funnah


#3

A man goes to confession and after it’s all said and done, the priest calls him over to the other side of the confessional. Confused the man goes over and says “What’s up Father?” The priest says “I want you to take over for me, I have a bad case of the shits.” The man looks confused and says “I’m not qualified, I don’t know what to do” The father says it’s a piece of cake, just listen to the sin and look it up on the chart here, it will tell you the proper punishment.

The man agrees and sits down waiting for the first person to come in while the father is gone. A short while later a man enters the confessional and starts going over his sins since his last confession. “Forgive me father for I have sinned, I commited adultery.” The stand in father looks on the chart and reads the punishment “Say 5 hail Mary’s and 3 our fathers and all will be forgiven” At this point he thinks, this isn’t hard at all.

The next guy walks into the confessional and says "Forgive me father for I have sinned, I had anal sex last night… The man looks on the chart, nothing… it says nothing on the chart about anal sex, so in a panic the man runs out to get help. He runs downstairs to find the father and on the way pass’s an alter boy. In a panic he says “Quick, what does the father give for anal sex?” The boy responds “Milk and cookies, why?”


#4

HAHAHAHAHA oooooo nooooooo!!!
:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl


#5

[quote=RecklessTim]A man goes to confession and after it’s all said and done, the priest calls him over to the other side of the confessional. Confused the man goes over and says “What’s up Father?” The priest says “I want you to take over for me, I have a bad case of the shits.” The man looks confused and says “I’m not qualified, I don’t know what to do” The father says it’s a piece of cake, just listen to the sin and look it up on the chart here, it will tell you the proper punishment.

The man agrees and sits down waiting for the first person to come in while the father is gone. A short while later a man enters the confessional and starts going over his sins since his last confession. “Forgive me father for I have sinned, I commited adultery.” The stand in father looks on the chart and reads the punishment “Say 5 hail Mary’s and 3 our fathers and all will be forgiven” At this point he thinks, this isn’t hard at all.

The next guy walks into the confessional and says "Forgive me father for I have sinned, I had anal sex last night… The man looks on the chart, nothing… it says nothing on the chart about anal sex, so in a panic the man runs out to get help. He runs downstairs to find the father and on the way pass’s an alter boy. In a panic he says “Quick, what does the father give for anal sex?” The boy responds “Milk and cookies, why?”[/quote]

:rofl :rofl :funnah :funnah :lol :lol :rofl :rofl


#6

:funnah :rofl :funnah


#7

:lol :lol


#8

Reckless…your joke beats my joke like it owes it money :rofl


#9

That is one funny, but I had to type the whole damn thing in from memory. I like telling that joke to devote catholics. :rofl


#10

:laughing Both good


#11

:rofl :rofl :funnah :funnah


#12

:rock :rofl :funnah :lol :rofl :lol :funnah :rock :lol :rofl :lol