Laws of the Universe

LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE
Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch or
you’ll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll
to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is
directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone:
If you dial a wrong number,
you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work
because you had a flat tire, the
very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you
were in will start to move faster than the one you
are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath :
When the body is fully immersed in water,
the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know
increases when you are with someone
you don’t want to be seen with.

Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone
that a machine won’t work, it will.

Law of the yard sale:
When trying to prove to someone that
the item you’re selling will work, it won’t.

Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is
inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theatre:
At any event, the people whose seats
are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,
your boss will ask you to do something
which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy’s Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room,
they will have adjacent lockers

Law of Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing
face down on a floor covering are directly
correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of the Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.

Brown’s Law:
If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.

Oliver’s Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

And, my personal favorite,

The Law of Wal-Mart:
As soon as you find a product that you really like,
they will stop carrying it.

sigh and We cant forget

The Law of Bacon:
“I am the most Dangerous Site Mod in the world, I have your IP address and i make Bombs. Don’t Fuck with me”

those are a lot of laws. I can barely follow the ones just on earth let alone the entire universerse

and why is it everytime i read one i was nodding and agreeing:( damn you lawz!

lol those are so true!

ha ha those are great!!!

Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work
because you had a flat tire, the
very next morning you will have a flat tire.

That happened to me at ingram.

law of refer to my sig…haha thats missing

Too true!:frowning: Nice one!

Fixed it Just for you :tongue:

haha thats great

Jacques’ Second Law of Sexual Dynamics
If you think a girl is attracted to you, you are wrong.

Jacques’ First Law of Sexual Dynamics
In a given dispute, the female is more likely to be correct.

Stephens’ Law of Efficiency
The amount of work getting done is inversely proportional to the number of people working on the project.

Those are good Silent yet I think more than half of those have happened to me. lol