I feel the only way to really know and instead of thinking of it, you just lay it out there. Better to know the truth than to live in doubt or fear, I think.
If he has no problem saying you like him it sounds to me like a lot of this is solved and you’re over thinking it. Just my two cents.
I don’t want him to know what I am thinking. This whole thing is so confusing and I just want to be with him. I want him to like me back and I want him to like me for other reasons than fucking.
I want to tell him how I feel someday and I think I will do it the last time I see him before I go to Mexico, so I can move on away from it.
I feel like my relationship is not going to work out because I barely get to see her and that will probably not change any time soon.
If it ends I will be alone again.
Two things I’ve learned throughout my dating history is that there are plenty of fish in the sea and that everything happens for a reason.
I thank all my ex-gfs for putting up with so much of my shit. Without all the mistakes I made with them I wouldnt have known how to make myself a better man.
Not when you live in a tiny town, have autism and no social skills or confidence and too much anxiety to leave house unless necessary.
If I lose her I have nothing but an empty puddle.
A true relationship can stand the test of distance. Also… Facetime!
I keep trying to get her to get skype or something but she will not.
Ok so today I’ve been told I might be put in the foundation paper for GCSE maths.
Foundation paper gives you the grades: C, D, E, F, G, U
Higher paper gives you the grades: A*, A, B, C, D
I want a B but I’m afraid if I get put in the foundation I won’t even get a C because you need 80%. The foundation paper is for people who aren’t strong at maths and if they took the higher paper they would not get a grade if they didn’t get around 20%.
I feel like if I do the foundation paper the highest I will get is a D and that will screw me up down the line. It’s not even fair.
Conversely, all of my exes weren’t worth my time. :^)
Yay time for another worthless rant.
For the first two or so weeks of university I was relatively depression-free, or only experiencing mild depression. Since it has increase dramatically. I now sit around in my room alone, drinking. I’m now picking the more recluse option of staying inside instead of going out with friends. I’m not even sure if they are my friends. I’m starting to think they’re just who I clinged onto early on, and not shaken off. Because of this, and my preexisting depression I’ve taken to drinking spirits in my room alone, taken up smoking (low-moderate amount atm), smoking weed far more than usual, and occasionally cutting myself (on my knuckles, feels like easiest place to make an incision), probably made about 4 small ones tonight so far.
Oh hey a rant thread, I got one that specifically is an American thing.
WHY IS THE PRICE OF 7.62x54R GOING UP!
I WILL NEED TO START RELOADING THE ROUNDS THIS HUNTING SEASON!
ALSO WHY IN THE HOLY FLUFFZILLA ARE PEOPLE TAKING MY PLANTS OFF MY FRONT LAWN! THEY ARE PLANTS! I GET I LIVE IN COLORADO BUT I AM NOT GROWING MAGICAL GREEN PLANTS!
that is all of my American rant
Now an international rant
WHY AREN’T WE PUTTING WINDMILLS IN OCEAN CURRENTS! IT IS LIKE WINDPOWER BUT WITH WATER AND STUFF! IT IS MORE POWERFUL THAN WIND! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY FUND THIS!
Data is plural.
Datum is for singular use.
Please use correctly.
Before today I don’t think I’ve hated my life quite as much as I do now.
My father has been addicted to cocaine for some time, since before I was born. He almost missed my birth because he was out doing lines with buds.
He was able to get himself together for awhile, but once the economy crashed in 08 and his business went under, he turned to it again. He’s been doing it every since, usually while drinking as well.
Recently I’ve been driving him (he doesnt have a license) to go see a dealer around 3-4 times a week. We are monetarily stable, so that’s not the issue. The issue is that he had a heart attack last year and had to get a triple bypass (whether this was due to his use I don’t know.) He’s struggled with high blood pressure his whole life. He doesn’t seem to care about his own health, he’s 52 years old and still using like he’s 20.
We recently moved away, and he had told me that this would be a fresh start and that he wouldn’t be seeing anyone because we’re in a new area etc, but it’s 9PM and I’ve just run him to Baltimore to see a new dealer. He’s going to start again and get hooked again and it’ll just be the same old same old.
He’s all I got. One of if not the only person that I can say cares about me- but he doesn’t care about himself. If he passes I’m not going to have anything or anyone. I’m lonely as it is. I don’t know if I’d be able to go on if he really does himself in.
I’m rambling. I just wanted to type this and get it off my chest.
Holy shit dude and here I was just going to bitch about a breakup. I hope your dad gets his addiction in order and finds help.
thank you; i hope so too.
I must thank you, I really must. Although your actions have caused me a great deal of pain and grief, I feel more liberated than ever before. You have severed from me any desire to continue to interact with the outside world. You have stolen my goal, my hope from me, and now I can finally retreat inside myself. I have no more obligation to be around anyone, it is no longer necessary for my existence, my sanity. What you have taken from me was my only desire for being, and with that being sociable. But I do not simply reject the outside, no. Because of you, I actively resent it and all you stand for. I am now lost. I am now goaless. I no longer have an allegiance to ideas or beliefs. I can set a new path for myself in this void and continue it as a please. And why should I stop with one path? Why not 5? Why not 10? Why not 10,000? There is no need for me to complete all of them or any of them as I am no longer seeking the approval of those around me. In this void I am finally free to be as I please. To be completely honest with myself and any who may be so unfortunate as to stumble upon me. With that honesty, I fully accept becoming a social pariah. I had already reached this point long ago, when reaching my goal shifted from a possibility to a delusion. But you, you have truly shown me the light, the error of my ways. You have ripped me from my state of denial and thrown me into a state of nihilistic optimism… But why are you optimistic? What do you have to look forward to? There is nothing before you and only memories you would rather forget behind you. Why do you feel this emotion? This is an irrational response. Any concepts of hope should be devoid of yourself. Why are you so quick to give up on a goal you have so much focused your life on? This makes no sense. It is out of character for you… Oh, now we realize. This severance is just another delusion, isn’t it? A self inflicted moment of doubt. But why have you consciously or subcounsciously inflicted it? Did you lose the desire to persue this goal long ago? Did you ever have the desire to persue it to begin with? Is this goal something that itself is self inflicted, and your mind is merely trying to correct itself? Is this goal just a goal that you have crafted as a true that in this void? Then why can you not do this with another? Why do you cling to this goal? Do you want it? Why do you want it? Look what you’ve done. You have done nothing to be thankful for. I have no sense of liberation. There was no goal to begin with. This is just self inflicted conflict you have created to define yourself.
You are now invincible.
Mum has just lost her job. I’m currently studying but looking for employment. But so far no luck in the case of finding work. The next couple of months are going to be fun…