Oh well

This may or may not be surprising to most of you, but Matt and I have decided to err on the safe side, and we won’t be adopting any time soon.

It was pretty much ready to go through, but for several reasons we decided that adopting right now is a terrible idea. There is really a whole lot wrong with doing it now (it’ll happen eventually, hopefully), so it’s probably wisest to wait.

I’m just not even going to think about the beautiful baby I could have had in August. Needless to say, this decision was largely Matt’s. I agree for the most part, but… oh well.

Children are naturally conservative creatures. Too much change is only going to unsettle them, and Matt figures it’s quite selfish to adopt a child knowing that ______ (fill in the blank with change of choice: moving across the country, divorce, a sex change, threesomes, drug problems, psychological instability, death, political shifts) or whatever are going to dramatically change the environment early in a child’s life.

It came down to a really stupid ultimatum that he really shouldn’t have put to me, but I did make a choice, and so it would appear that Matt and I won’t have any children within the next few years, let alone the next several years.

I don’t really have a question. Or anything like that. I just sort of needed to tell someone. This was definitely coming…

Can I ask what this ultimatum was?

Uh, paraphrased: personal satisfaction or a baby?

Words from a guy who understands now: I understand, now.


I think it’s very good and unselfish that you are putting what a child might have problems with ahead of your own want for a child. Good luck with it but I still think you would make great parents, personally.:slight_smile: