Parents who make a scene in public

We have walked out of restaurants, stores, and theaters with our kids when they decided to act out. We didn’t make a scene we just went home and made sure our feelings were known once we were inside our home.

In the US coaching soccer is easier than coaching baseball because most of the parents don’t know the rules. When I coached little league I was much more worried about kids gettung hurt than anything.

I am kinda like you in that respect. Kids have a tendency to get tired of sitting, standing or not getting their way…It’s nature.

We have established with them boundaries at a very early age, they are pretty well aware of what we expect from them, even my autistic son knows right and wrong, and we don’t budge.

But every once in a while, they are going to act like kids:D

We just manage the situation until we can get in private, and at that poit we can discuss how disappointed we are, but yelling, screaming, spanking in public does nothing but demean and embarrass the child and that does nothing but hurt them long term

I live in an area that is basically a baseball factory, lots of ex high school players, some college players, and some, just assholes who think they know the game.

They are more difficult to manage than the kids:D

lauren knows why she is getting the spanking and she also knows why she is in trouble. most of the time a threat of a spanking usually gets her to settle down. when any of my kids are in trouble i do tell them what is wrong with the action or the behavior

[quote=“BadBoy@TheWheel, post: 1081782”]I live in an area that is basically a baseball factory, lots of ex high school players, some college players, and some, just assholes who think they know the game.

They are more difficult to manage than the kids:D[/quote]

I quit coaching little league when my son chose to not play baseball anymore. He was about 8 at the time. We had played for three or four years and I had coached all but one. We had kids whose parents wanted them playing the in-field and the child had the attention span of a gnat. If a kid did not have their head in the game I would not play them on the in-field. I was not very popular with a few parents. I had one mom threaten to pull her son off the team. I said thanks.

[quote=“BadBoy@TheWheel, post: 1081781”]I am kinda like you in that respect. Kids have a tendency to get tired of sitting, standing or not getting their way…It’s nature.

We have established with them boundaries at a very early age, they are pretty well aware of what we expect from them, even my autistic son knows right and wrong, and we don’t budge.

But every once in a while, they are going to act like kids:D

We just manage the situation until we can get in private, and at that poit we can discuss how disappointed we are, but yelling, screaming, spanking in public does nothing but demean and embarrass the child and that does nothing but hurt them long term[/quote]

im with you on this one i dont spank in public, the anticipation of it on the way home usually does the trick. however i will not allow someone to say i abuse my children because i spank them in my own home

I never said you abused your kids:eek

not you evan someone else referred to spanking as child abuse, so i was just saying

I see…I see:)

I wonder how it came about that people are so absolutely appalled at the thought of a husband hitting his wife yet it’s perfectly fine to hit your children.

So hitting a woman is taboo, yet hitting a child is good parenting… :dunno

This is not directed to anyone, I just noticed the double standard while thinking about this topic.

Yea I definitely won’t spank in public and I don’t scream at my kids in public. When we are out and about and the kids start acting up I just have to start counting. I usually only get to 2. If I hit 3 they know they are in big time trouble when we get home. They also know I will make them suffer through our shopping or whatever we are out doing so it’s no use to throw a fit. I DO NOT allow fit throwing and they know it.

At home if my kids are misbehaving I will first raise my voice and tell them what they are doing is wrong so that is their first warning. If they continue after it’s time out time and then we talk about the issue after. If they still continue doing it then it’s time for a swat on the butt.

I like doing things in three’s and it keeps it consistant.

anita you sound like me

:smiley:

I just figure since everyone deserves chances so do kids to adjust their behavior. However, if that doesn’t change then it means trouble.

I find it funny when people get mad at parents who spank because look at the kids in the world today… Ever since people started being afraid of the system kids are running wild and rampant. I do NOT want my kids thinking that’s ok. Kids used to be disciplined and they grew up knowing right and wrong…hell they knew it before they were out of elementary school.

i agree. look at most of us that are in our 30’s. we did not act like that in public. our parents taught us respect for everyone else, and you knew what would happen when you got home if you acted up.

i feel that today alot of parents are letting society “raise” their children vs them. its not up to the school to teach them manners, that should be done at home before they even hit school. also i have seen the way that some of the parents talk to their kids at my kids day care and i really have to pinch myself to shut up. maybe that was the way they were raised, but geesh. my children know how to say please, thank you, etc even the 16 month old baby does. if someone says something nice to lauren, she will usually say thank you and if not i tell her what do you say. do i feel that fuzz and i are to “mean”, hell no. we were both brought up with manners and my kids will be too.

shey your right, too many kids run rampat and then the parents get upset cause “the system” has not taught them.

I just figure since everyone deserves chances so do kids to adjust their behavior. However, if that doesn’t change then it means trouble.

I find it funny when people get mad at parents who spank because look at the kids in the world today… Ever since people started being afraid of the system kids are running wild and rampant. I do NOT want my kids thinking that’s ok. Kids used to be disciplined and they grew up knowing right and wrong…hell they knew it before they were out of elementary school.[/quote]

But this is my whole point. Whether you spank your children or not has no bearing on whether or not they are well behaved.

I have a 19 year old daughter and a 12 year old son from my first marriage who are both very well behaved. They are respectful and listen well. Spanking is not what got them to this point. It was because I/we were very clear with what was expected out of them and making sure I/we always followed up with whatever punishment that was laid out. So if I told my daughter not to hit the cat with her blocks or she would have them taken away, I would get up and take them away the next time she did it. I didn’t keep threatening her every time she did it. She knew that when I said something that I meant it, every time. Spanking means nothing if you are not consistent in your message and follow through.

And I can assure you that my children were MUCH better behaved than my brothers children even though he was constantly yelling at and spanking his kids. His problem was that his kids knew they can get a way with a lot, there were too many mixed messages…

again… youre talking 2 different things.

hitting a woman and spanking your child are 2 WAAAAAY too different things.

I can see your argument if someone says:
you wouldnt hit a child as hard as you’d hit a (enter your favorite term here) woman - in which case hitting any woman is wrong. This does not portray the issue or point that is attempting to be to be made here…but THAT IS the case.

A parent disciplining a child by giving them a spanking is in NO way anywhere close to the same as a stupid-drunken, (enter the derrogatory term of your choice here) husband hitting his wife.

[quote=“RecklessTim, post: 1081794”]But this is my whole point. Whether you spank your children or not has no bearing on whether or not they are well behaved.

I have a 19 year old daughter and a 12 year old son from my first marriage who are both very well behaved. They are respectful and listen well. Spanking is not what got them to this point. It was because I/we were very clear with what was expected out of them and making sure I/we always followed up with whatever punishment that was laid out. So if I told my daughter not to hit the cat with her blocks or she would have them taken away, I would get up and take them away the next time she did it. I didn’t keep threatening her every time she did it. She knew that when I said something that I meant it, every time. Spanking means nothing if you are not consistent in your message and follow through.

And I can assure you that my children were MUCH better behaved than my brothers children even though he was constantly yelling at and spanking his kids. His problem was that his kids knew they can get a way with a lot, there were too many mixed messages…[/quote]

My point is that there’s no reason to get mad or even disagree with another parent because they do spank and you don’t. And my proof lies right in the following:

You say your kids are better behaved than your brothers who used this sort of discipline. Guess what? My kids are 100 times better than my sister’s who thinks she just needs to tell em no and it works. Her kids are some of the brattiest kids I’ve ever met. They don’t say please and thank you, they demand you get stuff for them, they tell adults no, they throw fits whether it’s been in public or private…then they just end up getting what they want.

My kids on the other hand are typical kids they get into trouble once in a while, but my kids know their manners, they NEVER demand ANYTHING, I’ve been called ma’am by them and I’ve never once told them they had to do that. I’ve told them to say that to women they don’t know.

I guess my point is different things work for different people.

Also when I talk about spankings it’s not like I’m dishing them out daily or even once a week, but if it’s needed I will swat.

Take this for what it’s worth, we had a child development specialist tell us that spanking was more about the parents alleviating anguish from mis-behaving children than it was about teaching the kids anything.

I am not sure if that’s true, we don’t spank. We take away freedoms, and to my oldest who worships his mother and I, to disappoint us is devastating to him. He helps us clean the house, takes out the trash, brings his laundry down and we keep him busy with sports and other activities.

We reinforce his self esteem, dignity, self worth and integrity by involving him in those activities.

I’ve never ever spanked lil wooks. I have always tried to be honest with him and treated him like he was an individual. I have never ever said “because I said so”. There’s a reason why I ask him to behave a certain way or do certain things and I’ll gladly give him that explaination so he can process that however he wants to. But because I’ve never spanked him and I do try and explain things to him he knows when my voice gets raised that it’s on and he’ll usually break down into tears. He looses privledges when he acts up and that seems to be a good method for us. Plus, anyone who’s ever had their ass chewed out by me knows that’s not a pleasant experience. When mama wooks ain’t happy ain’t no one happy.

I don’t look at people who spank as negative, just different methods for raising kids. If I had more than one, I may have had a different approach. But I don’t think teaching children that it’s ok to hit someone when your mad is a good thing.