Santa Joke


#1

So here it is Christmas night and Santa is about making his rounds.
He stops at this house where a lil old lady lives all alone. He jumps down the Chimney as usual, rushes to the tree, tucks her presents under the tree and proceeds to eat some cookies and a swig or two of milk. He turns to leave and hears the old lady coming down the stairs. So Santa decides to be friendly and wait to say hi and Merry christmas to her. She comes down the stairs and into the Living room and sees Santa there. She asks him " Can you stay for a bit to visit a lonely old lady Santa?" Santa replies " Oh no no no, got to go got to go, got to see those children you know". she then proceeds to drop her bath robe to the floor showing her night gown and says " won’t you please stay for a while?" Santa replies " Oh no no no, got to go got to go, got to see those children you know" Well hearing this the little old lady drops her night gown to the floor and is now standing naked before Santa. she says " please Santa stay for a bit, I will make it worth your while I promise!"…This being said Santa looks at the old lady, looks at the chimney, looks at her again and back at the chimney and says with excitement " Oh yea, yea, yea, got to stay, got to stay, can’t get up the chimney with my pecker this way"!

Merry Christmas!


#2

I know how he feels :smiley:


#3

hahahahaha…I think alot of us do…lol :hump :hump :hump :hump :hump :hump


#4

I find it hard to goto sleep with a woody.


#5

Lol…I do find it difficult to sleep with a Woody…Thats probably the reason I hardly sleep!..lol


#6

When I ask my wife to help me out, She tells me to beat it.


#7

Beat it as in “leave” or Beat it as in Micheal Jacksons subtle suggestion to little kids?..LMAO


#8

I know…that was so wrong but funny!.. :funnah :funnah :funnah :funnah :funnah :funnah


#9

She don’t care which one


#10

damn…my wife is cool…she wants it more than the average woman…but I want it so much that she has actually told me no!..My idea of a normal day would go like this:

Wake up, have sex, work out and practice my Kungfu, shower, eat, go to work, go to kungfu Class, come home, eat dinner, have sex, spend time with daughter, get her in bed, go to bed and have sex for 3 hours, go to sleep and start over…

Now the weekends…Omit going to work, and add about 3-4 more hours to the nightly sex session…

Me and my wife used to be like this, after daughter that changed. Now I am lucky if I get it 3 times a week. I just keep occupied and not think about my blue balls!..lol


#11

i find i get more action single then i did in a serious relationship