Tee Hee. It made me giggle



Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the “Chrysler Eagle” the " Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID’s, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.

  1. I will not eat the cats’ food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

  2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

  3. I will not munch on “leftovers” in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.

  4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

  5. The sofa is not a ‘face towel’. Neither are Mom and Dad’s laps.

  6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

  7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

  8. I will not bite the officer’s hand when he reaches in for Mom’s driver’s license and registration.

  9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.

  10. Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is an unacceptable way of saying “hello”.

  11. I don’t need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m under the coffee table.

  12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

  13. I will not throw up in the car.

  14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

  15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.

  16. The cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’, so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it’s usually not a good thing.

And, finally, My last question . .

Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?


I thought that damn dog was just the cutest fuckin’ thing! And not to mention, #15 is totally my dog.



  1. Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is an unacceptable way of saying “hello”.

My brothers dog does that ALL the time when I sit down. It’s her way of saying “scratch me!”


yea every one of those things reminds me of my dog lol, if only he could really do all those things


that was cute. http://www.offtopicz.com/forums/smilies_mod/upload/ff949f4d6c119e4eb348941c55ca8cc4.gif


Re: RE: Tee Hee. It made me giggle

[quote=HOTRODSnBOOZE]that was cute. http://www.offtopicz.com/forums/smilies_mod/upload/ff949f4d6c119e4eb348941c55ca8cc4.gif[/quote] :lol

that smiley just looks so innocent and… cute :dunno