Tee Hee. It made me giggle


#1

TO: GOD
FROM: THE DOG

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the “Chrysler Eagle” the " Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID’s, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.

  1. I will not eat the cats’ food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

  2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

  3. I will not munch on “leftovers” in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.

  4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

  5. The sofa is not a ‘face towel’. Neither are Mom and Dad’s laps.

  6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

  7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

  8. I will not bite the officer’s hand when he reaches in for Mom’s driver’s license and registration.

  9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.

  10. Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is an unacceptable way of saying “hello”.

  11. I don’t need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m under the coffee table.

  12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

  13. I will not throw up in the car.

  14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

  15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.

  16. The cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’, so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it’s usually not a good thing.

And, finally, My last question . .

Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

http://www.geocities.com/aggression_obsession/showletter.gif


I thought that damn dog was just the cutest fuckin’ thing! And not to mention, #15 is totally my dog.


#2

haha

  1. Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is an unacceptable way of saying “hello”.

My brothers dog does that ALL the time when I sit down. It’s her way of saying “scratch me!”


#3

yea every one of those things reminds me of my dog lol, if only he could really do all those things


#4

that was cute. http://www.offtopicz.com/forums/smilies_mod/upload/ff949f4d6c119e4eb348941c55ca8cc4.gif


#5

Re: RE: Tee Hee. It made me giggle

[quote=HOTRODSnBOOZE]that was cute. http://www.offtopicz.com/forums/smilies_mod/upload/ff949f4d6c119e4eb348941c55ca8cc4.gif[/quote] :lol

that smiley just looks so innocent and… cute :dunno