1)A couple robbing a store caught on camera could not be identified until the police rewound the tape. The female counter part filled out an entry form for a free trip prior to robbing the store!
2)A man walks into a police station.
“I’m here to report a robbery.” he says. The policeman nods his head, “Yes, what was stolen?”
The man says, “Well, I think my roommate stole my marijuana plant.” After careful examination, the policeman decides the man is really telling the truth. He calls over a few others to watch.
The policeman says, “Sir, are you aware that if we catch your roommate- we will also have to arrest you for possession of marijuana?” “I was not aware of that…” says the man, “Perhaps I should reconsider.” And the man was never seen again.
3)From “The People”, a London paper:
“I’m Wayne Black.” The words were tattooed across the forehead of Wayne Black, a suspected thief in Lincoln, England. When confronted by police, Black insisted he wasn’t Wayne Black. To prove it, he stood in front of a mirror and insisted he was Kcalb Enyaw.
4)I read this in the Toronto Sun. A man was trying to steal gas by siphoning the gas. He wanted to check how much he had and used a lighter for light. The vapors caused an explosion, exploding the car and a truck near by.
5)I read this one in the Excite News:
Brazilian police captured a burglar with his trousers down after he got stuck, half-naked, in an iron grille as he tried to break into a house. Sporting only a pair of white underpants, Marco Aurelio Santos waited for firemen to cut him free from the metal bars gripping him around the waist. Santos had to tolerate the laughter of onlookers as he awaited rescue and was not in a talkative mood. He told reporters to ‘Please, leave me alone. I am already in trouble.’
6)a 911 dispatcher (I can’t tell you where, he’s not even supposed to tell me these things).
The conversation goes something like this:
Dispatcher: ________ County 911
Guy: Yo, man, are the cops looking for me?
D: I dunno, should they be looking for you?
G: Yeah, man.
D: What’d you do?
G: I stole a jeep.
D: Well, I can check. What’s your name?
G: _________ (<-- gives his name)
D: Ok, I’ll check. This may take a few minutes, so how about you give me your phone number and if I have to hang up I’ll call you back.
G: Ok, it’s ________
there was indeed a report of a stolen jeep, the guy’s address from the phone number, the police he dispatched burst into the guy’s apartment and arrested him.