Who Pays for the First Date?


#1

The title is pretty self-explanatory. Who do you think should pay for the first date? Should the male always pay, or should the female? Or, if there are two same-sex genders going on a date who pays then?

Where I am from, it is a common gender norm that the male always has to pay. But, personally, I do not agree with that at all and try fighting that norm by saying that whoever asks that person out to the date should pay, or both pay their own bills and not have that expectation.


#2

I do not agree too with the idea that the man is the one who has to pay for the date. I fight for gender equality. In my opinion, a date is for the two of you. So, it makes sense to split the bill. Or, just as you say, the one who asked for the date is the one to settle the bill.


#3

[QUOTE=dalzieleone]

I do not agree too with the idea that the man is the one who has to pay for the date. I fight for gender equality. In my opinion, a date is for the two of you. So, it makes sense to split the bill. Or, just as you say, the one who asked for the date is the one to settle the bill.

[/QUOTE]
I also agree that it is a better idea to split the bill. The whole mentality of the man should always pay is just so ridiculous, but then again, most gender norms are silly anyway. :stuck_out_tongue:


#4

If I am the one who invites, then I pay. If I get invited, I expect the other person to pay. Gender equality, for the win.


#5

Sam’s right. The one who invites is the one who pays for the date. The one who is asked and goes to meet them does not. Usually that’s the rule. Unless the parties agree to go dutch before meeting, that’s how it works.


#6

It used to be normal that the man pays, but it is 2016. I think the idea comes from a time when men would be working and women would stay at home. But nowadays women work, so for me it is normal that you split the bill in half. I don’t expect a man to pay for me and in the beginning of my current relationship, I paid most of the time since I was working and he was not.


#7

Great points, everyone! I also agree with a lot of you. I too actually pay more now in my relationship, and did on our first dates as well. I think it was because I hate putting that expectation on men, haha.


#8

Well, for me it depends who asked for a date. I’m a girl and I don’t mind paying for a guy if I asked him to go out but if it’s him who initiated, then he should be the one paying for it. Well, for a first date that you both agreed to, it’s a norm that a guy should pay unless he’s only a friend so you could pay for your own food.


#9

Today I would say that this can go either way. I have always used the rule that if I asked the guy out, then I pay for the date. There have been many times that the date and I agreed to split the bill. Sure the old fashioned way would be the guy pays to everything. This is how I was raised. That is how my parents were taught as well. But in today’s society, I feel women are just as capable and strong to make their own money to take the man out.


#10

I always go by whoever invited the other to the date. If I ask a man on a date I will pay, however if he invites me generally he will pay.


#11

I agree that whoever initiated/asked for the date should pay. It makes sense, seeing as the other person has been invited to go. If offered, it’s fine to split the bill equally, but I think it’s wrong to just assume that a male should always pay. This way, it’s fair and works with everybody and couples of all sexualities.


#12

Call me old fashioned, but as a man, on a first date, I had absolutely no problem paying on the first date, even if I wasn’t the one who first asked.

However, I did appreciate it when a woman offered to go dutch.

To some extent, no different than holding a door open for a woman.

My wife on one of our dates unlocked my car door after I let her in my car, and that showed me she respected me as much as I respected her. Come to think of it, on our very first date, we did a couple of things, and we did split it. Still opened the car door for her though LOL


#13

I have dated a few men in the past, and they would always tell me that the bill is on them, and I’m absolutely fine with that since they are the ones who asked me out in the first place.


#14

In a time when so many men treat women like total shit and pieces of meat, I try to keep the chivalric code alive. Always hold doors and pay for everything with my girlfriend. Call me old fashioned if ya like.


#15

The man needs to pay for the first date for sure. It’s the gentleman thing to do. It’s just common courtesy.


#16

Generally it is whoever asked the other out that has to pay. Otherwise it would have to be agreed upon that the bill be split or that you pay for what you get.

Nobody wants the scenario where one person thinks the other is going to pay and doesn’t bring enough money with them when they find out their date wants to split the bill. Plan ahead people!


#17

I still think the guy has to be the one to pay
Even if the girl made the date arragements

But i also think that that is something every couple should be able to talk about and get an agreement as to who is paying
So if there is a couple where the girl pays thats their choice and it needs to be respected too


#18

[QUOTE=ahammond]

The title is pretty self-explanatory. Who do you think should pay for the first date? Should the male always pay, or should the female? Or, if there are two same-sex genders going on a date who pays then?

Where I am from, it is a common gender norm that the male always has to pay. But, personally, I do not agree with that at all and try fighting that norm by saying that whoever asks that person out to the date should pay, or both pay their own bills and not have that expectation.

[/QUOTE]
Not even the first date, I think the guy should always pay for dates. The only time I have ever left a woman pay for something that would be considered a date is on my birthday, or if she is forcing me to go to something I really don´t want to do. For instance, I had a girlfriend beg me to go to a country concert with her… the only reason I went is because she had already bought the tickets.


#19

I believe the person who asks for the first date should be the one who pays for the first date.


#20

[QUOTE=McMarston]

I believe the person who asks for the first date should be the one who pays for the first date.

[/QUOTE]
I agree with this personally. but from a social perspective, the guy almost always must, as otherwise it presents yourself as broke or stingy.

but screw that, people should do what they want it’s their date.