Who Pays for the First Date?


#21

I think it depends on the people. Generally speaking if the man asks the woman out and picks the restaurant he should pay. On my first date with my husband he paid, however I planned the second date so I paid for that. I think taking turns is good and fair especially if both the man and the woman are currently working full time. In today’s day and age especially when the woman is working it makes sense to split all expenses. My husband and I have done that for over five years now and it works out quite well. The only time nowadays that it makes sense for one sex to pay all of the time is when it is more economic for one of the two to stay home then hire daycare or nannies i.e. the income is not surplus the expense of the day care.


#22

I think whoever asked should pay. I think if the occasion wasn’t meant to be a date such as just lunch on work break, both should split the bill. It used to be common that the man pay but times have changed. Way too many young people are becoming dependent on one person buying everything. I think this is making them feel they don’t need a career etc. If the relationship fails they are left high and dry not knowing anything about finances. Learn financial independence young.


#23

Who asked who out? If I asked you out, I’ll pay unless you insist. If you ask me out, you get to pay as you didn’t know the contents of my wallet when you did. The dude should always pay, in my books, because “he’s the man!” But facing reality anyway, I don’t mind paying as long as I am not the one who is always having to do it. In our modern society no one has to play the big cahoona even when their wallet is crying for mercy. Just do what is comfortable for your relationship.


#24

From where I am, the guy usually pays for the first date. And usually it’s also the guy who asks for a date. If the date is a friendly one, and the two aren’t a couple, then it’s mandatory that the guy is the one who pays for it. I’m not saying that it’s in the law, but that’s usually what happens. You won’t even find a guy that would allow the girl to pay when it’s their first date.

But if the date is between a couple, then it varies. Sometimes, the bill is split in two. Sometimes, the girl or the guy pays. Sometimes, whoever asked for the date pays. Or sometimes, whoever has money pays for the date. Sometimes, if the guy paid for the last date, then it’s the girl who will pay for the next one.

For me though, it doesn’t matter who pays. I would usually try to whip the bill out of my date’s hands but he would still insist in paying. And who am I to stop him? Lol, kidding!


#25

[QUOTE=ahammond]

The title is pretty self-explanatory. Who do you think should pay for the first date? Should the male always pay, or should the female? Or, if there are two same-sex genders going on a date who pays then?

Where I am from, it is a common gender norm that the male always has to pay. But, personally, I do not agree with that at all and try fighting that norm by saying that whoever asks that person out to the date should pay, or both pay their own bills and not have that expectation.

[/QUOTE]
I think whoever asked who should be the one to pay. If you ask someone out, you are inviting them to spend time with you so you should be the one to pay. So if a woman asks a man to dinner, either pay for it or cook. Men liked to be wined and dined also. Plus here is a dead indicator that the date was a success… ladies, if the man offers to pay for the dinner at the end and is smiling broadly, then he is very happy with the date. Not to say that if he does not offer that the date was not a success, but if he does… then you know you scored.


#26

I think it depends on what the first meeting is. Personally, if a guy asks me out for coffee to talk and get to know me, I’ll pay for my own coffee. Since it is casual I’m okay for paying for myself until I know I like him that way. But if he asks me out for dinner at a nice restaurant, I would expect him to pay. If I asked him out and we went somewhere expensive, I would pay or I would feel very uncomfortable making him pay for it. The first, nice or expensive date, should be paid by the person who asked. After the first three or five dates, people would go dutch unless one specifically wants to pay for the date.


#27

One of my general rules is that since I prefer priceless elements of life, most of my dates have been low expense and verging on free. If someone else has money and they are not willing to spend it with me, I see that as an attempt to use me rather than respect me. The only way that I can sense mutual respect is if they are willing to contribute equally with me. I will not allow someone else to pay for me if I am able to, as that would imply that there was not mutual respect coming from me, and I will not date someone I do not respect.


#28

Men always like to take responsibility but if he agrees, then the bills can be split or they take turns paying it. Whenever I go out with my husband, he always wants to pay but occasionally, I insist on paying so that he knows I am willing to support.
Even though he is not always cool with it.


#29

I have always preferred to split the bill, I do not really like it when a guy pays for everything. I am now in a serious relationship, and we live together, he always picks tabs on our anniversary because he wants to.
Other than that, we split costs, and we do not keep a tab, but try and keep it fair. For example, if he is heading out, I tell him to come back with some milk and trash bags, and when I head out I make sure to pick up some things we need.


#30

It’s more proper if the “inviter” offers to pay for the meal. It looks better and doesn’t make the other person feel like the other person is “mooching”. On my first date with the guy I’m dating, his card was declined so I paid for it. In that case, I didn’t mind. However, he did ask me on another date after so that he could make up for it. I did and never regretted it since it was a genuine mishap with his credit cards. He gets paid in US dollars while living in Jamaica so his banks didn’t clear his salary.


#31

I always paid the bill in my first dates and have no problem with that. Who cares who is going to pay the bill? If you keep the girl, why would you care about the bill? Sometimes I pay all the bill, sometimes she does. That’s how it should work. When you both have the money to share it, go on and share it, otherwise, the one with the money pays. Men pay the bill out of courtesy, not because they feel superior, but that’s what women think. It’s not about gender equality, it’s about men trying to treat women like the princesses they are, and that’s what I always told girls on our first dates. “Before sharing bills, let me treat you like the princess you are and pay the bill by myself.”

I repeat, it’s not an act of inequality, but an act of courtesy and if you, as a male, do pay the bill by yourself, there’s pretty much chance that you’ll get the girl as well. That’s what happened to me.
It’s okay to split the bill, but I don’t find it okay doing it in the first date.


#32

I think it’s always good to play each situation by ear. If I’ve asked someone out, I make sure I have enough money to pay for the both of us, if I’m asked out I set aside some money to pay for my portion of the bill. I find that most guys I’ve gone out with want to actually pay for the date, especially if it’s the first date.

I don’t mind paying for myself or both people on the date, but I always expect a guy to at least offer to pay the bill on the first date (it’s the gentlemanly thing to do). Some people are also offended if they ask you out and you turn around and whip out your purse at the end of the night.


#33

The person who asked the other one out should pay. That’s how it should be but the man should always pay. Offering to pay and paying are quite different. Some men may say they’ll pay but they don’t really mean it. What if he’s broke. Before heading out he should tell his SO that’s he’s broke and if they still go out he won’t have to pay.


#34

Why don’t people just pay for themselves, and then that would stop all the messing about? A lot of people think that the male should pay, but seeing as we are constantly hearing about equality, then why is that?

For some feminists, it seems that equality is only an issue until they’re getting something out of it for themselves.


#35

Traditionally the man should pay, but only if everything else is traditional as well


#36

Who the fuck are these people.


#37

I was literally going through this thread saying the exact same thing.


#38

Depends on who wants to pay. really


#39

Pro tip: both parties bring money and the expectation of paying.