Why do assholes live forever?


#1

and good people die every day?


#2

I think it only feels like the assholes live forever b/c, well, they’re such assholes.


#3

God wants the good people in heaven faster?


#4

more like god don’t care


#5

On a side note, Fred, I hope everything is okay.


#6

Just an observation


#7

Today at work this was very true. My manager died of cancer. He only worked here for acouple months. Felt shitty his first week. Such a shame. He was a good man. Loved by everyone. Real fighter. I hardly knew the guy but he left a good impression. Other who worked for him for years in a different company said nothing but good things about him. He was only 46 I think. Shitty.


#8

[quote=“AUFred, post: 1968472”]and good people die every day?[/QUOTE]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgmWwMheXkk


#9

I think we find reasons to believe someone we have lost wasn’t ever an asshole because we miss them.


#10

[quote=“Panacea, post: 1968480”]I think we find reasons to believe someone we have lost wasn’t ever an asshole because we miss them.[/QUOTE]

Not true (in my case). My grandmother was an awful human. When she died she still was. Just gone.


#11

[quote=“redliner, post: 1968481”]Not true (in my case). My grandmother was an awful human. When she died she still was. Just gone.[/QUOTE]

Same w/ my grandmother on my dad’s side. She was just a horrible person and I refused to jump on the “sainthood by death” bandwagon.


#12

[quote=“Natasha, post: 1968482”]Same w/ my grandmother on my dad’s side. She was just a horrible person and I refused to jump on the “sainthood by death” bandwagon.[/QUOTE]

Good for you ! She was evil to me because I didn’t belive what she did. She thought the higher your education the better you where. Disgusting. Here I am married and with childeren and a great paying job with my own house. The last thing she said to me (I should not have given in to visit) was she hoped I would turn my life around. BITCH !


#13

“Why do Assholes live forever?”

we are a gift…you should feel lucky to have been visited by an asshole,…a test of your metal in a sense, oh we can be difficult and at times intolerable…but if you learn to deal with the assholes life is so much easier,…you should thank an asshole for being an asshole the next time you are visited by an asshole, just when you think your about to lose it…shake the assholes hand and say “I would like to thank you for being such an asshole!”…be sincere.
i have found that this approach works for dealing with more than just assholes…it works for Dumbass’s, Fucktards etc.
on a side note, if you continually use this approach you will gain a position of high regard amongst assholes nationwide…not to mention how the general public will view you.

…and besides,…you cant honestly tell me or anyone that you yourself have never been an asshole to anyone, at any time, nor ever will be in the future (not directed at anyone in particular just a generalization )


#14

[quote=“Codrus, post: 1968484”]“Why do Assholes live forever?”

we are a gift…you should feel lucky to have been visited by an asshole,…a test of your metal in a sense, oh we can be difficult and at times intolerable…but if you learn to deal with the assholes life is so much easier,…you should thank an asshole for being an asshole the next time you are visited by an asshole, just when you think your about to lose it…shake the assholes hand and say “I would like to thank you for being such an asshole!”…be sincere.
i have found that this approach works for dealing with more than just assholes…it works for Dumbass’s, Fucktards etc.
on a side note, if you continually use this approach you will gain a position of high regard amongst assholes nationwide…not to mention how the general public will view you.

…and besides,…you cant honestly tell me or anyone that you yourself have never been an asshole to anyone, at any time, nor ever will be in the future (not directed at anyone in particular just a generalization )[/QUOTE]

Codrus - Asshole Zen Master.

http://smileys.on-my-web.com/repository/Zen/zen-22.gif


#15

FRED it’s simple… because too many believe in this theory which was actually a joke taken seriously by some… :smiley:

When the Lord made man, all the parts of the body argued over who would be boss.

The brain explained, “Since I control everything and do all the thinking, I should be the boss.”

The feet suggested, “Since I carry man wherever he wants to go and get him in position to do what the brain wants, then I should be the boss.”

The hands argued, “Since I must do all the work and earn all the money to keep the rest of you going, I should be the boss.”

And so it went with the eyes, the heart, the lungs, and all the other parts of the body, each giving the reason why they should be the boss.

Finally, the asshole spoke up and said it was going to be the boss.

All the other parts laughed and laughed at the idea of the asshole being the boss. The asshole got so mad that he closed up and refused to function.

After a few days, the brain grew feverish and could barely think, the feet felt like lead weights and were too weak to drag the body anywhere, the eyes got crossed and couldn’t see, and the hands hung useless at the sides. They all conceded and made the asshole boss.

And so it happened; all the other parts did all the work and the asshole just bossed and passed out a lot of crap.

THE MORAL: You don’t have to be a brain to be a boss, just an asshole.

[B][SIZE=5]Alternate moral: No matter how well things are going, it can all be shut down by a single asshole. [/SIZE][/B]


#16

Don’t worry fred, you won’t live forever… :slight_smile:


#17

[quote=“redliner, post: 1968478”]Today at work this was very true. My manager died of cancer. He only worked here for acouple months. Felt shitty his first week. Such a shame. He was a good man. Loved by everyone. Real fighter. I hardly knew the guy but he left a good impression. Other who worked for him for years in a different company said nothing but good things about him. He was only 46 I think. Shitty.[/QUOTE]

What time and place is the “perfect” way to die?

Live to a ripe old age and spend time in a nursing home? Get killed in the prime of your life getting hit by a car? Mid 50’s with a fatal stroke? Battle cancer and die at 34? Die as an infant? I think we’re all guilty of taking what time we have for granted.


#18

I like: die simultaneously with boyfriend at age 80 in Hawaii from a silent heart attack after having remarkably good old people sex.


#19

Take solace in knowing Clifford Olson just died.


#20

No-one lives forever.