Why I'm Too Selfish to Have Children


#1

For a while now, I’ve had the same feeling towards children: I generally don’t mind them, so long as they’re not - and never will be - mine.

When I reveal my deep unwanted for children of my own, many people ask if I had a bad upbringing. The simple answer to that is no. I have enjoyed just about every minute of my childhood - I’d go so far as to say I’ve had an incredibly unique and beneficial childhood. So this is not the reason for me not wanting children.

The reason I don’t want children, is quite simply, because I’m too selfish.

For reasons unknown to me, I am highly narcissistic, self-centred, and independent. My ego is as big as Russia (that’s probably why I’m writing this in the first place), and my patience virtually non-existent. As I’ve grown up, I’ve cultivated these traits within me, and they’ll only keep growing.

“But what does this have to do with childbirth?”, quoth the clever ones.

Essentially, money takes precedence in my life. I absolutely love the stuff. It drives me forwards, I value it highly. I also highly value my time (though not as much as money). Because of this, I do everything I can to do what I want to do (one good reason I’m shite at relationships (sorry @Frankie))


If there is a universal truth about parenting, it is that sacrifices must be made. I could never do what parents do - giving up sleep, putting children to bed, running baths, changing diapers. My selfishness and value of time have led me to believe that the world is mine, and mine alone.

The Telegraph put the price of having a child from birth to 21 at just shy of £230,000. £230,000. I could go on a £10,000 holiday once a year for the same length of time, and have £20,000 left over to blow on a great night out. I know which I’d rather do.

And on a more selfish, and much darker (and probably more fucked up) note, I don’t think I could bare having a child that wasn’t perfect in every way. And the chances of that happening are very slim.

Sprinkle in the OCD I have, a child throwing its dinner up the wall would just drive me around the bend.

It’s also important to note that this doesn’t sadden me or anything like that - I’m certainly not looking for sympathy. Come to think of it I don’t really know why I’ve actually written this. I’ll blame narcissism for now.

Edit: Would also add I don’t find selfishness bad.


#2

Don’t worry, she’s taken care of.:ok_hand:t2:


#3

I don’t think it’s selfish to not want to have children. They’re a burden. Even parents know that, it’s just that they are willing to go through with it.

I can’t say that I care one way or the other if I have children or not, personally. Would wholly depend on things that happen in the future, either way I think we’re both too young to worry about children.


#4

Oh, am I?

Anyway, @lordtutton, whilst I am completely different to you, I respect what you’ve just said. Not many people would openly admit to some of those things you’ve mentioned.


#5

I’d say that because of they way I am, I’d blame it on that. But I certainly see why for someone else, it wouldn’t be selfish.

I’d probably agree with you there. Not sure why the thought popped into my head. But here we are.


#6

Come to think of it, I don’t think being selfish is necessarily a bad thing anyway. You should worry about yourself.


#7

Same wavelength bro. #libertariansforthewin


#8

ah nah man im a super environmental communist now.

their hats are cool and we don’t have hats.


#9

Wat u on about m8

Libertarians have this:


#10

well look at that im not a communist anymore


#11

I assume you’re still really young. The things you are saying aren’t too crazy at your age. I do believe you might change your thinking once you’re in your mid-30’s.

It’s funny how you talk about ego and narcissism being reasons to not want children. I have an inflated ego and show signs or narcissistic behavior sometimes, however to me those are the reasons I want to have kids. I want to pass my knowledge, wisdom, genes and complete awesomeness down to my kids so they can be badasses :slight_smile:

Although I’m well aware how much money each child costs, I’m really big on family. That investment to me is worth it.

We all have that fear, but I must admit I’m not perfect in every single way either. From what I heard, once you have a child and he or she is in your hands resting, all this goes out the window. The ego, selfishness, the need for perfection, etc it all disappears.

I don’t either. You have every right to feel the way you do. No one will judge you here. I commend you for talking about it.


#12

Sure.


#13

I use to want a family and all that, but I grew out of that. Now, especially, I’m pretty much dead set on staying away from everything regarding that.


#14

Yup. Way more important things to think about than children right now. I.e. an essay on “what is politics” due Sunday. I’m sceptical my views will change, but we’ll see.

I do admit that this aspect is tempting. But for now at least, it doesn’t outweigh the perceived losses from me personally.

Whether that would happen to me or not I don’t know. The only way I’d find out is to have a kid, and that’s too risky in my eyes. I absolutely hate dads who change nothing post-child, and still act irresponsibly (gambling, excessive drinking et cetera). In my eyes at least, it’s hugely damaging to the child, not least because it’ll probably end up in the parents splitting. And if that happened to me, I don’t even know what I’d do.

Deep self-thought. Who doesn’t love it.


#15

I’m calling it right now… you’re having kids when you’re in your 30’s. and I can already tell you’ll be a great father.

yessir!


#16

selfishness is bad firstly. But I beg to differ, I want three. I think having kids is a wonderful thing and there’s just so many positives and I can’t even explain myself.


#17

have fun dying alone
nobody will show up to your funeral, but at least you’ll have a shiny casket.
hopefully all those expensive vacations will make up for being a evolutionary failure and not having little clones of yourself to extend your legacy into the future.


#18

Money is of no value; It’s a void that can never be filled. Pleasure is fleeting and fame drowns us in the shallows.

Families can bring great joy into our lifes and cause us to grow as people.


#19

“Cattle die, kinsmen die,
You will die the same.
But one thing will never die-
The good name one has earned.”

Your memory is your only guaranteed immortality on this earth. Children are a fantastic way of leaving a legacy, but ultimately you gotta do you.


#20

What kind of legacy is one, only known by few?