Would you ever disown a member of your family?


#21

No I don’t think it will ever get to that. What on earth will they do that will make me disown them. There is nothing that will make things go that bad to the point of disowning any member of my family. Whatever it is, I forgive them and move on. Life should be taken lightly


#22

If they grossly violate my boundaries. The way I understand it, boundaries in relationships exist so that, if they’re crossed unreasonably, your reaction is to walk out of that relationship. Following this logic, I’ve disowned my rude, autistic uncle, and the entire side of my father’s family when the condoned my cousin’s emotional abuse.


#23

Yes and I have. I have a cousin who was quite successful in life at one point. She started doing crack a few years back. We all pitched in brought her back to our state and did everything we could to try and help her. She robbed by grandmother blind and stole her mother’s cancer meds. Fast forward a couple years she comes back up here again we put ourselves out there, get her an apartment, furniture, and food. She was on the run from the law. She was taken back to her state. She had a baby a few years later the baby was born drug addicted and taken immediately. I think after years of trying it’s just better to wash your hands of some people.


#24

[QUOTE=ImmortalityContest]

It’s a definite maybe for me the limits of which could involve murder and terrorism. I’d disown a member of my family if they ever did something vile or completely immoral like murder so yes but I’ll never disown them just because they’re gay or they’re against my religion because that’s just basically being human. Love above all things my friends.

[/QUOTE]I think this is the only reason I’d disown someone who is apart of my family. Apart from that, no, I wouldn’t. If I did it, I’d end up feeling guilt and as if it’s all my fault but obviously if they had murdered someone, I don’t think I could even look at them so disowning them may be the best option for something like that.


#25

Absolutely, I would do it in a heart beat. If there is a family member that is not in tune with my morals, threatens my spirituality, or drama filled I would disown them. There are tons of reason why I would actually. I come from a very cultured family, & if you do not follow do’s & do not’s to a T my family will disown you. Mostly it’s about morals. I cannot be in association with anyone that does not share the same morals. It is forbidden, & said to cut out confusion. Anyone that doesn’t respect my morals, my opinions, or my position spiritually cannot be a part of my life.


#26

Well, when I was young, I was told by my dad that if I was gay, he wouldn’t accept it. Let me tell you what I meant by didn’t accept it. “You’ll go to hell anyway so why should I care for you.” I thought that was pretty messed up but I didn’t really care, because i am straight. But I do not understand how something like someones sexuality, which they do not really have control over, leads to them being hated by their loved ones.

Personally, I would never, ever disown a member of my family. Even if they did something horrible, like murder, I wouldn’t disown them. I would know that they are probably a horrible person, but I could never bring myself to disown someone in my family. I mean, I do not see the relationship between family members as a relationship anymore, that can be gauged with a like meter, but more of a contract. Its weird but that is how I see it.


#27

I could disown a family member if they were cruel in some way. For example if i found out someone in my family was a pedophile.
If a family member had committed some terrible crime or had some serious issues i would of course consider getting them help.
Im not so cruel as to completely abandon for no reason, and my instinct would be to help.
But if i tried to get them help and was repeatedly hurt or let down by them, i can imagine giving up.
Just because someone has family blood doesnt mean you have to like them or that they are ok people.
Sometimes you just have to let go.

[QUOTE=DeremKorgan]

Well, when I was young, I was told by my dad that if I was gay, he wouldn’t accept it. Let me tell you what I meant by didn’t accept it. “You’ll go to hell anyway so why should I care for you.” I thought that was pretty messed up but I didn’t really care, because i am straight. But I do not understand how something like someones sexuality, which they do not really have control over, leads to them being hated by their loved ones.

Personally, I would never, ever disown a member of my family. Even if they did something horrible, like murder, I wouldn’t disown them. I would know that they are probably a horrible person, but I could never bring myself to disown someone in my family. I mean, I do not see the relationship between family members as a relationship anymore, that can be gauged with a like meter, but more of a contract. Its weird but that is how I see it.

[/QUOTE]Wow thats pretty awful actually. Its LUCKY you are straight then. BUT, i really do think parents should be accepting if their children turn out to be homosexual. Its not as if they wanted to be born that way. I also dont think that homosexuality is a sin. There is homosexuality in nature, so how can it be sinful?


#28

I can only imagine that only under the most terrible circumstances that I would even consider disowning a member of my family. I don’t know what kind of real ramifications disowning a person even has in this day and age, and I’m also not aware if this kind of thing still happens anymore, unless you belong to a very rich or influential family.


#29

I totally would disown a member of my family if they did something really dumb or something that I do not agree with. I have a cousin who says a lot of sexist and racist things on Facebook and I got into a few spats with him online. Now I don’t talk to him much in person because he says really dumb things.


#30

[QUOTE=zcm]

I could disown a family member if they were cruel in some way. For example if i found out someone in my family was a pedophile.
If a family member had committed some terrible crime or had some serious issues i would of course consider getting them help.
Im not so cruel as to completely abandon for no reason, and my instinct would be to help.
But if i tried to get them help and was repeatedly hurt or let down by them, i can imagine giving up.
Just because someone has family blood doesnt mean you have to like them or that they are ok people.
Sometimes you just have to let go.

Wow thats pretty awful actually. Its LUCKY you are straight then. BUT, i really do think parents should be accepting if their children turn out to be homosexual. Its not as if they wanted to be born that way. I also dont think that homosexuality is a sin. There is homosexuality in nature, so how can it be sinful?

[/QUOTE]

Yeah, it does sound really bad when I look at it. But the thing is I wasn’t really effected by it at all because, well, I am not gay. If I was though I would probably be disowned or homeless right now.

I mean, I grew up in Asia, so a lot of things that are seen as messed up in America are things that I joked around with my friends when I was younger (The sacred belt comes to mind, as does the slipper of death).

I agree that someone’s sexuality should not effect how people see them.


#31

Man I’ve disowned basically all of my paternal family. Not every single one of them but most of them. I just don’t like them and don’t want to be associated with them. Unfortunately I have to bear the last name till I die.


#32

[QUOTE=Belovedad]

Man I’ve disowned basically all of my paternal family. Not every single one of them but most of them. I just don’t like them and don’t want to be associated with them. Unfortunately I have to bear the last name till I die.

[/QUOTE]That is pretty sad really, but i image you must have good reason.
Sometimes we are born into families that are no good for us.
I dont believe anyone should stick around in a toxic or negative situation.
We can make family out of good friends.
I hope you have a good family of friends to replace your biological family.


#33

Yes, it is easy to say no because everyone loves family and wants to be part of one. Sadly some family members are toxic and narcissistic. And sometimes you do have to cut ties if they make you feel horrible all the time and worthless. Luckily I have had annoying relatives only, not to an extent of toxic, but I have had toxic friends that I cut off for my peace of mind.


#34

Yea, it’s not that I hate them but they just have no significant impact on my life and they usually warrant trouble. Life is better if I just ignore them.


#35

It depends. Since my childhood I’ve been taught that you need to love your family members, no matter what they would do. You have a special bond with them and need to be loyal to them. My mother even tells me that she’d never disown me even if I’d rob a bank or murder a person - I’m not really sure why she keeps telling me that but I guess she is trying to get through with her point. Personally I think I’d disown a family member if they’d do something horrifying like raping someone or a mass a mass murder. Terrorism is also something that I can’t forgive.


#36

Yes. I have seen my own parents suffer because of a sibling who crossed all sorts of lines and caused a lot of pain. The thing is, a person can turn out to be incredible evil sometimes and you should have the option available. My parents did not and instead chose to distance themselves in other ways, but I feel that when some crosses the line you just let em have it.


#37

In all seriousness no never even if I had done it before when I was a kid to my sister but it was because I was really inmature and I didn’t think things through at all.
today I would never disown a member of my family because they are a part of what I am and if I had to do that I wouldn’t be able to look at myself in the face because it would mean that I had failed someone that has always cared about me, taken care of me etc. so the definitive answer is no I would never do that.


#38

I could never disown one of my family members. There have been times when we haven’t spoken because of a fight but it eventually get worked out. My brother and I got into a fight once over money and we didn’t speak to each other for almost a year. But now we are back to being close and it was dumb that we even fought over something as dumb as money. I think that the other way that I could disown a family member is if it was something absolutely terrible like murder. But I don’t know. I still might be there for my brothers or sister even if one of them is in prison.


#39

Family is something that we don’t get to choose so we may not really be able to disown them. That said, there is a cousin that I like to distance myself from as he is the kind who is always scheming for my downfall and that of my siblings. He’ll do all the stuff that movies show to sabotage anyone and that just causes me to stay away. I also try to keep distance from those relatives who are notorious borrowers and never repay the money. But if they were in serious problems, like when they get sick or lose a job, I will be there for them in a flash.


#40

Someone in my family has disowned both of her parents. Both of them have been a poison in her life and bring her down so much that if they had remained in her life she would probably have hit rock bottom. I have partially disowned my dad. He has never been there for me and constantly dragged me down with his criticism and hurtful feelings. I keep him at arms length and only see him when absolutely necessary. Don’t get me wrong, I love my dad, I just don’t like him. If someone in your family cannot be in your life without causing you severe upset and pain then if it’s the only option, I’d definitely disown them. There is only so much a person can bear before making themselves ill.