Subject: Zen Wisdom
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me for I
may not follow.
Do not walk beside me either.
Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
It’s always darkest before dawn.
So if you’re going to steal your
that’s the time to do it.
Sex is like air – it’s not important unless you
aren’t getting any.
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive,
try missing a couple of car payments.
Before you criticize someone,
you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them,
you’re a mile away, and you have their shoes.
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is
not for you.
Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a
boat and drink beer all day.
If you lend someone $20 and never see that
person again, it was worth it.
Don’t worry–It only seems kinky the first
Good judgment comes from bad
experience, and a lot of that comes
from bad judgment.
There are two theories about arguing with
women. Neither one works.
Experience is something you don’t get until
just after you need it.
Never, under any circumstances, take a
sleeping pill and a laxative on the same